Moneria is a disease. A
widespread disease.
It is global in its
spread.
It afflicts just everyone I know. People I have never met and will never
meet are not spared. It is such a potent ailment. It is not a small somtin oh, because the young suffers
from it, the old have suffered and are still suffering from it sef. Should you care to know, even me, I
wallow in it. I am one of its prime candidates. This Moneria has shown me
pepper.
You still don’t know this
disease?
Alright oh, let’s go.
I invite you to follow me on this journey, by the
time I finish describing Moneria, you’ll see you’ve for long been under its
clutches.
When we were younger, we
discovered that in the seed of a mango, there is usually an insect. We’ll lick
the juicy mango till the seed is as white as anything you can imagine. Then
we’ll set to the task of opening it up carefully and trapping the poor
unsuspecting insect in a transparent nylon. Trust me, if you are able to
successfully do this, you’ll be held in high regard for very few of us was able
to achieve that aim. Did I hear you say we were jobless? I don’t blame you,
those were some of the ‘trips’ we caught as young ‘uns because of course the
onus was on us to find entertainment for ourselves not like the present time
when internet, videos games and the sorts are plenty. If you were born in the
80s or perhaps very early 90s, you can relate very well. You see now, I’m
digressing too much from my story.
As I was saying jare, even then we always wondered how the insect finds its way
inside the mango. Till today, grown as I am, I still can’t unravel this
mystery. You see, just like the mango seedling/insect analogy, so does Moneria
disease apply to all human race, tribe, gender, religion notwithstanding. We
are all born with it.
You’re still with me?
Thank you jare.
This Moneria disease
is a very cunning ailment. It cannot be diagnosed by any doctor no matter
his/her credentials and it defies any cure. However, depending on its level of
affliction in someone’s life, it can quickly run its course.
In my experience
anyway, most times, it is in the old and weak that you find Moneria symptoms
near inexistent; in those kinds of people it has probably ran it course.
Moneria disease can kill but it does that in a clever way too. It does not
have the power to snuff out life, but it can cause the afflicted to willingly
press a self-destruct button. It is a very unique disease I tell you.
You see my friend, Moneria
disease is why you go to school and it is why you pursue with alacrity that
high paying job. Although I earlier stated that it is a disease that afflicts
every human, some people are more readily predisposed to its influences than
some. They are the kind genetically wired to suffer more from this disease and this is
just why some people suffer more from it. It is ironical but we live for it, it
lives in us. Did I mention that Moneria is very powerful? It can cause quarrel
between father and mother, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, Pastor
and church members, between friends, between siblings, colleagues… in fact, the
list is endless.
Wait oh, if by now, you
still don’t understand what Moneria disease is, then your case is probably
worse than mine. Moneria disease has finished you. I will help you don’t worry.
As long as you are in need of money for whatever reasons you conjured up, you
are suffering from Moneria disease abeg.
Fullstop.
Oluwole.
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